Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
FAMILY HOME EVENING- THE CREATION
The Creation
A family home evening lesson suitable for younger children.
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Supplies:
•scissors
•glue
•cotton balls
•crayons
•white paper
•pencil
•leaves, grass, seeds
Print:
•#'s: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
•clouds
•plants
•sun, moon, stars
•fish, birds
•animals
•sabbath pictures
Lesson
Begin the lesson by explaining that Jesus Christ created the earth under the direction of Heavenly Father. We explained what this meant by using an example the children could relate to.
Mom wants Liza to make a cake. Mom tells Liza to put 3 cups of flour in a bowl. Liza puts 3 cups of flour in the bowl. Mom tells Liza to add 2 eggs. Liza adds 2 eggs. Mom continues to give instructions and Liza follows those instructions until the cake is done. Liza made the cake under the direction of Mom.
Explain that the creation of the Earth is recorded in Genesis and place the Number One in front of you. Read and discuss Genesis 1:1-5. Allow children to color one half of the Number One with a black crayon to represent darkness.
Place the Number Two in front of you. Read and discuss Genesis 1:6-8. Have children color the Number Two blue. Next have them glue cotton onto clouds to make them fluffy. Glue clouds onto the Number Two.
Place the Number Three in front of you. Read and discuss Genesis 1:9-13. Have children color the Number Three green. Next have them glue plants, grass, leaves, and small seeds (mustard, celery, poppy) onto it.
Place the Number Four in front of you. Read and discuss Genesis 1:14-19. Have children color half of the Number Four sky blue and the other half black. Color the moon yellow. Have them glue the sun, stars, and moon onto the Number Four.
Place the Number Five in front of you. Read and discuss Genesis 1:20-23. Have children color the top half of the Number Five sky blue and the bottom half dark blue. Glue fish and birds in appropriate spots.
Place the Number Six in front of you. Read and discuss Genesis 1:24-31 Have children color the Number Six green. Glue animals on. Have children draw Adam and Eve on seperate paper. Glue them on the top of the Number Six.
Place the Number Seven in front of you. Read and discuss Genesis 2:1-3. Have children color the Number Seven any color they desire and glue Sabbath pictures onto it.
Information from http://lds.about.com/library/bl/fhe/blcreation.htm
A family home evening lesson suitable for younger children.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
•scissors
•glue
•cotton balls
•crayons
•white paper
•pencil
•leaves, grass, seeds
Print:
•#'s: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
•clouds
•plants
•sun, moon, stars
•fish, birds
•animals
•sabbath pictures
Lesson
Begin the lesson by explaining that Jesus Christ created the earth under the direction of Heavenly Father. We explained what this meant by using an example the children could relate to.
Mom wants Liza to make a cake. Mom tells Liza to put 3 cups of flour in a bowl. Liza puts 3 cups of flour in the bowl. Mom tells Liza to add 2 eggs. Liza adds 2 eggs. Mom continues to give instructions and Liza follows those instructions until the cake is done. Liza made the cake under the direction of Mom.
Explain that the creation of the Earth is recorded in Genesis and place the Number One in front of you. Read and discuss Genesis 1:1-5. Allow children to color one half of the Number One with a black crayon to represent darkness.
Place the Number Two in front of you. Read and discuss Genesis 1:6-8. Have children color the Number Two blue. Next have them glue cotton onto clouds to make them fluffy. Glue clouds onto the Number Two.
Place the Number Three in front of you. Read and discuss Genesis 1:9-13. Have children color the Number Three green. Next have them glue plants, grass, leaves, and small seeds (mustard, celery, poppy) onto it.
Place the Number Four in front of you. Read and discuss Genesis 1:14-19. Have children color half of the Number Four sky blue and the other half black. Color the moon yellow. Have them glue the sun, stars, and moon onto the Number Four.
Place the Number Five in front of you. Read and discuss Genesis 1:20-23. Have children color the top half of the Number Five sky blue and the bottom half dark blue. Glue fish and birds in appropriate spots.
Place the Number Six in front of you. Read and discuss Genesis 1:24-31 Have children color the Number Six green. Glue animals on. Have children draw Adam and Eve on seperate paper. Glue them on the top of the Number Six.
Place the Number Seven in front of you. Read and discuss Genesis 2:1-3. Have children color the Number Seven any color they desire and glue Sabbath pictures onto it.
Information from http://lds.about.com/library/bl/fhe/blcreation.htm
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
BECOMING PROVIDENT PROVIDERS
Remember to turn off the music player on the right to watch this video.
Monday, March 22, 2010
RELIEF SOCIETY CELEBRATION & VISITING TEACHING CONFERENCE
Sisters please bring something that you have made to put on display. We would love to see your talents.
FAMILY HOME EVENING- CHOICES
by Shauna Gibby
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Conference Talk:
For more information on this topic read “Walk in the Light,” by Henry B. Eyring, Ensign, May 2008, 123–25.
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=1325558fcc599110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
Thought:
You make choices every day and almost every hour that keep you walking in the light or moving away toward darkness. (Henry B. Eyring, “Walk in the Light,” Ensign, May 2008, 123–25.)
Song:
“Teach Me to Walk in the Light ” Children’s Songbook, p. 177.
Scripture:
For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.
(Moroni 7:16)
Object Lesson:
Materials needed: water, red food coloring, red punch mix, and cups.
Preparation: Prepare two pitchers, one of red food coloring and water, and another of red punch.
Procedure: Precede this object lesson with a discussion of Satan’s enticements.
Explain that he’ll try hard to make his traps look appealing and good however, the only source of true joy and happiness is from our Father in Heaven. Anything else is counterfeit.
Follow this discussion by serving punch. Instead of punch, use the food coloring and water. The family will notice the lack of flavor. Use this opportunity to compare it to Satan’s approach. He makes sin so inviting; but once we partake, we realize it’s a counterfeit to joy. Heavenly Father offers us the real thing. Conclude by serving the real punch.
(Beth Lefgren and Jennifer Jackson, Power Tools for Teaching, [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1988], p. 90.)
Story:
President Milton R. Hunter
The Prophet Joseph Smith termed it this way, that the purpose of our existence is that we might have happiness. We want to be happy today, tomorrow, next week, next year, ten years from now, a hundred years from now, a thousand years from now, a million years from now.
I was in a stake conference one time, and I made a remark similar to the statement I just made. There were several little boys sitting on the front row. One little chap spoke aloud what he was thinking. He said, “Oh, we won’t live that long!”
This gave me a fine opportunity to make an explanation. I said, “Young man, we will live that long. We live forever and ever.”
Permit me to give you a little illustration. If we take a pencil and put a dot on the wall over there, we could call that dot mortality. Then if we take that pencil and run a line clear around this big fieldhouse in which we are meeting, we could call that line the eternal existence or life we shall live. Notice that the dot is very, very small in comparison to the line; and yet it is most important, extremely important, because the joy that we have throughout the eternities or the sorrow that we have throughout the eternities is determined by the choices we make during our mortal lives. Also, the status of our life or existence, the future world in which we live, will be determined by what happens in this little dot, or, in other words, in this short span of life that we live here in mortality.
(Leon R. Hartshorn, Outstanding Stories by General Authorities, Vol. 3, [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1974].)
Activity:
Play “Hot Potato.”
1. Form people into a circle, seated or standing.
2. Throw an object back and forth across the circle. A ball or bean bag could be used.
3. Set a timer (an egg timer or a watch, for instance) for any length of time up to one minute. Music accompaniment, such as provided by a CD player, may be desirable.
4. When the timer rings, the person holding the ball is holding the “hot potato” and is eliminated from the circle. Play continues until only one person remains.
(George and Jeane Chipman, Games! Games! Games!, [Salt Lake City: Shadow Mountain, 1983], p. 22.)
Refreshment
Chocolate Cream Crunch
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup finely chopped pecans
1/2 cup margarine, softened
1 8-ounce package cream cheese, softened
1 cup powdered sugar
1 8-ounce tub Cool Whip®, thawed and divided
1 6-ounce package instant chocolate pudding
1 6-ounce package instant vanilla pudding
3 cups milk, divided
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Make crust by combining flour, pecans, and margarine in a small bowl. Press into bottom of 9x13-inch pan. Bake 20 minutes. Cool completely on wire rack. Blend cream cheese and powdered sugar with an electric mixer until fluffy. Fold in 1 cup of the Cool Whip. Blend well and spread over cooled crust. Chill. Combine instant chocolate pudding and 1 1/2 cups milk. Mix until smooth. Pour over cream cheese layer. Chill. Pudding will thicken in refrigerator. Repeat with instant vanilla pudding. Chill. Frost with remaining Cool Whip. Cut into 4-inch squares and serve.
Makes 28 squares.
Information from http://ldslivingmagazine.com/
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Conference Talk:
For more information on this topic read “Walk in the Light,” by Henry B. Eyring, Ensign, May 2008, 123–25.
http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=1325558fcc599110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
Thought:
You make choices every day and almost every hour that keep you walking in the light or moving away toward darkness. (Henry B. Eyring, “Walk in the Light,” Ensign, May 2008, 123–25.)
Song:
“Teach Me to Walk in the Light ” Children’s Songbook, p. 177.
Scripture:
For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.
(Moroni 7:16)
Object Lesson:
Materials needed: water, red food coloring, red punch mix, and cups.
Preparation: Prepare two pitchers, one of red food coloring and water, and another of red punch.
Procedure: Precede this object lesson with a discussion of Satan’s enticements.
Explain that he’ll try hard to make his traps look appealing and good however, the only source of true joy and happiness is from our Father in Heaven. Anything else is counterfeit.
Follow this discussion by serving punch. Instead of punch, use the food coloring and water. The family will notice the lack of flavor. Use this opportunity to compare it to Satan’s approach. He makes sin so inviting; but once we partake, we realize it’s a counterfeit to joy. Heavenly Father offers us the real thing. Conclude by serving the real punch.
(Beth Lefgren and Jennifer Jackson, Power Tools for Teaching, [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1988], p. 90.)
Story:
President Milton R. Hunter
The Prophet Joseph Smith termed it this way, that the purpose of our existence is that we might have happiness. We want to be happy today, tomorrow, next week, next year, ten years from now, a hundred years from now, a thousand years from now, a million years from now.
I was in a stake conference one time, and I made a remark similar to the statement I just made. There were several little boys sitting on the front row. One little chap spoke aloud what he was thinking. He said, “Oh, we won’t live that long!”
This gave me a fine opportunity to make an explanation. I said, “Young man, we will live that long. We live forever and ever.”
Permit me to give you a little illustration. If we take a pencil and put a dot on the wall over there, we could call that dot mortality. Then if we take that pencil and run a line clear around this big fieldhouse in which we are meeting, we could call that line the eternal existence or life we shall live. Notice that the dot is very, very small in comparison to the line; and yet it is most important, extremely important, because the joy that we have throughout the eternities or the sorrow that we have throughout the eternities is determined by the choices we make during our mortal lives. Also, the status of our life or existence, the future world in which we live, will be determined by what happens in this little dot, or, in other words, in this short span of life that we live here in mortality.
(Leon R. Hartshorn, Outstanding Stories by General Authorities, Vol. 3, [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1974].)
Activity:
Play “Hot Potato.”
1. Form people into a circle, seated or standing.
2. Throw an object back and forth across the circle. A ball or bean bag could be used.
3. Set a timer (an egg timer or a watch, for instance) for any length of time up to one minute. Music accompaniment, such as provided by a CD player, may be desirable.
4. When the timer rings, the person holding the ball is holding the “hot potato” and is eliminated from the circle. Play continues until only one person remains.
(George and Jeane Chipman, Games! Games! Games!, [Salt Lake City: Shadow Mountain, 1983], p. 22.)
Refreshment
Chocolate Cream Crunch
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup finely chopped pecans
1/2 cup margarine, softened
1 8-ounce package cream cheese, softened
1 cup powdered sugar
1 8-ounce tub Cool Whip®, thawed and divided
1 6-ounce package instant chocolate pudding
1 6-ounce package instant vanilla pudding
3 cups milk, divided
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Make crust by combining flour, pecans, and margarine in a small bowl. Press into bottom of 9x13-inch pan. Bake 20 minutes. Cool completely on wire rack. Blend cream cheese and powdered sugar with an electric mixer until fluffy. Fold in 1 cup of the Cool Whip. Blend well and spread over cooled crust. Chill. Combine instant chocolate pudding and 1 1/2 cups milk. Mix until smooth. Pour over cream cheese layer. Chill. Pudding will thicken in refrigerator. Repeat with instant vanilla pudding. Chill. Frost with remaining Cool Whip. Cut into 4-inch squares and serve.
Makes 28 squares.
Information from http://ldslivingmagazine.com/
Sunday, March 21, 2010
LESSON FOR 3/28/2010 CHAPTER 5: The Creation
“Chapter 5: The Creation,” Gospel Principles, (2009),22–25
God’s Plan for Us
• Why did we need to come to the earth?
When we lived as spirit children with our heavenly parents, our Heavenly Father told us about His plan for us to become more like Him. We shouted for joy when we heard His plan (see Job 38:7). We were eager for new experiences. In order for these things to happen, we needed to leave our Father’s presence and receive mortal bodies. We needed another place to live where we could prepare to become like Him. Our new home was called earth.
• Why do you think we shouted for joy when we learned of the plan of salvation?
For teachers: Some class members or family members may not feel comfortable reading aloud. Before asking them to read aloud, you may want to ask, “Who would like to read?” Then call on individuals who have volunteered.
Jesus Created the Earth
Jesus Christ created this world and everything in it. He also created many other worlds. He did so through the power of the priesthood, under the direction of our Heavenly Father. God the Father said, “Worlds without number have I created; … and by the Son I created them, which is mine Only Begotten” (Moses 1:33). We have other testimonies of this truth. Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon saw Jesus Christ in a vision. They testified “that by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God” (D&C 76:24).
Carrying Out the Creation
• What are the purposes of the Creation?
The earth and everything on it were created spiritually before they were created physically (see Moses 3:5). In planning to create the physical earth, Christ said to those who were with Him, “We will go down, for there is space there, … and we will make an earth whereon these [the spirit children of our Father in Heaven] may dwell” (Abraham 3:24).
Under the direction of the Father, Christ formed and organized the earth. He divided light from darkness to make day and night. He formed the sun, moon, and stars. He divided the waters from the dry land to make seas, rivers, and lakes. He made the earth beautiful and productive. He made grass, trees, flowers, and other plants of all kinds. These plants contained seeds from which new plants could grow. Then He created the animals—fish, cattle, insects, and birds of all kinds. These animals had the ability to reproduce their own kind.
Now the earth was ready for the greatest creation of all—mankind. Our spirits would be given bodies of flesh and blood so they could live on earth. “And I, God, said unto mine Only Begotten, which was with me from the beginning: Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and it was so” (Moses 2:26). And so the first man, Adam, and the first woman, Eve, were formed and given bodies that resembled those of our heavenly parents. “In the image of God created he him; male and female created he them” (Genesis 1:27). When the Lord finished His creations, He was pleased and knew that His work was good, and He rested for a time.
God’s Creations Show His Love
• How do God’s creations show that He loves us?
We are now living in this beautiful world. Think of the sun, which gives us warmth and light. Think of the rain, which makes plants grow and makes the world feel clean and fresh. Think of how good it is to hear a bird singing or a friend laughing. Think of how wonderful our bodies are—how we can work and play and rest. When we consider all of these creations, we begin to understand what wise, powerful, and loving beings Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father are. They have shown great love for us by providing for all of our needs.
Plant life and animal life were also made to give us joy. The Lord said, “Yea, all things which come of the earth, in the season thereof, are made for the benefit and the use of man, both to please the eye and to gladden the heart; yea, for food and for raiment, for taste and for smell, to strengthen the body and to enliven the soul” (D&C 59:18–19). Even though God’s creations are many, He knows and loves them all. He said, “All things are numbered unto me, for they are mine and I know them” (Moses 1:35).
• What are some things you appreciate about God’s creations?
Additional Scriptures
• Genesis 1; 2:1–7; Abraham 3:22–23; 4–5; Moses 1:27–42; 2–3 (accounts of the Creation)
• Hebrews 1:1–3; Colossians 1:12–17; D&C 38:1–3 (Jesus the Creator)
• D&C 59:18–20; Moses 2:26–31; D&C 104:13–17; Matthew 6:25–26 (Creation shows God’s love)
God’s Plan for Us
• Why did we need to come to the earth?
When we lived as spirit children with our heavenly parents, our Heavenly Father told us about His plan for us to become more like Him. We shouted for joy when we heard His plan (see Job 38:7). We were eager for new experiences. In order for these things to happen, we needed to leave our Father’s presence and receive mortal bodies. We needed another place to live where we could prepare to become like Him. Our new home was called earth.
• Why do you think we shouted for joy when we learned of the plan of salvation?
For teachers: Some class members or family members may not feel comfortable reading aloud. Before asking them to read aloud, you may want to ask, “Who would like to read?” Then call on individuals who have volunteered.
Jesus Created the Earth
Jesus Christ created this world and everything in it. He also created many other worlds. He did so through the power of the priesthood, under the direction of our Heavenly Father. God the Father said, “Worlds without number have I created; … and by the Son I created them, which is mine Only Begotten” (Moses 1:33). We have other testimonies of this truth. Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon saw Jesus Christ in a vision. They testified “that by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God” (D&C 76:24).
Carrying Out the Creation
• What are the purposes of the Creation?
The earth and everything on it were created spiritually before they were created physically (see Moses 3:5). In planning to create the physical earth, Christ said to those who were with Him, “We will go down, for there is space there, … and we will make an earth whereon these [the spirit children of our Father in Heaven] may dwell” (Abraham 3:24).
Under the direction of the Father, Christ formed and organized the earth. He divided light from darkness to make day and night. He formed the sun, moon, and stars. He divided the waters from the dry land to make seas, rivers, and lakes. He made the earth beautiful and productive. He made grass, trees, flowers, and other plants of all kinds. These plants contained seeds from which new plants could grow. Then He created the animals—fish, cattle, insects, and birds of all kinds. These animals had the ability to reproduce their own kind.
Now the earth was ready for the greatest creation of all—mankind. Our spirits would be given bodies of flesh and blood so they could live on earth. “And I, God, said unto mine Only Begotten, which was with me from the beginning: Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and it was so” (Moses 2:26). And so the first man, Adam, and the first woman, Eve, were formed and given bodies that resembled those of our heavenly parents. “In the image of God created he him; male and female created he them” (Genesis 1:27). When the Lord finished His creations, He was pleased and knew that His work was good, and He rested for a time.
God’s Creations Show His Love
• How do God’s creations show that He loves us?
We are now living in this beautiful world. Think of the sun, which gives us warmth and light. Think of the rain, which makes plants grow and makes the world feel clean and fresh. Think of how good it is to hear a bird singing or a friend laughing. Think of how wonderful our bodies are—how we can work and play and rest. When we consider all of these creations, we begin to understand what wise, powerful, and loving beings Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father are. They have shown great love for us by providing for all of our needs.
Plant life and animal life were also made to give us joy. The Lord said, “Yea, all things which come of the earth, in the season thereof, are made for the benefit and the use of man, both to please the eye and to gladden the heart; yea, for food and for raiment, for taste and for smell, to strengthen the body and to enliven the soul” (D&C 59:18–19). Even though God’s creations are many, He knows and loves them all. He said, “All things are numbered unto me, for they are mine and I know them” (Moses 1:35).
• What are some things you appreciate about God’s creations?
Additional Scriptures
• Genesis 1; 2:1–7; Abraham 3:22–23; 4–5; Moses 1:27–42; 2–3 (accounts of the Creation)
• Hebrews 1:1–3; Colossians 1:12–17; D&C 38:1–3 (Jesus the Creator)
• D&C 59:18–20; Moses 2:26–31; D&C 104:13–17; Matthew 6:25–26 (Creation shows God’s love)
DRY PACK CANNER- LIMITED TIME
Hi All,
Hoping you are enjoying this beautiful Saturday!
Martinsburg Ward would like to have the canner in their possession beginning the 28th of March so they may prepare for a Relief Society class coing up in their ward on the 1st of April.
If you have canning to do, please contact Brenda Wrye so that you may use the canner in our ward by Next Saturday the 27th of March. The canner is now at her house.
For those people who are waiting for the rest of their foods (especially the quick oats that were out of stock this month) from the storehouse, look for an email from me hopefully by Tuesday evening. I should have the last of the ordes in by then.
We will have the canner in our ward again in November of this year..
:o) Robbie
Hoping you are enjoying this beautiful Saturday!
Martinsburg Ward would like to have the canner in their possession beginning the 28th of March so they may prepare for a Relief Society class coing up in their ward on the 1st of April.
If you have canning to do, please contact Brenda Wrye so that you may use the canner in our ward by Next Saturday the 27th of March. The canner is now at her house.
For those people who are waiting for the rest of their foods (especially the quick oats that were out of stock this month) from the storehouse, look for an email from me hopefully by Tuesday evening. I should have the last of the ordes in by then.
We will have the canner in our ward again in November of this year..
:o) Robbie
Saturday, March 20, 2010
TEMPLE TRIP-SATURDAY
Saturday March 20th
The High Priest Group has offered to arrange a monthly temple trip for anyone interested. If you would like to attend:
-Arrive at the church building at 8:00am for departure.
-If you want/need to eat before the session, bring something to eat in the car. For the return trip, bring something to eat in the car or plan for a drive through meal at a fast food restaurant.
The High Priest Group has offered to arrange a monthly temple trip for anyone interested. If you would like to attend:
-Arrive at the church building at 8:00am for departure.
-If you want/need to eat before the session, bring something to eat in the car. For the return trip, bring something to eat in the car or plan for a drive through meal at a fast food restaurant.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
TONIGHT IS BOOK NOOK
TONIGHT March 18th
7 pm
North and South
by Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell- 1855
Any question contact Amy Troop aptroop@yahoo.com
HEDGESVILLE YOUNG WOMEN'S GROUP BLOG
I have started a Blog for the Hedgesville Young Women's Group. I will be trying to post dates as soon as I get them for your convenience. This is a good way to keep you posted on the future activities of the young women. Please feel free to give suggestion or post on this blog so that we can better serve you and your young women.
Thank you,
Ana Forsythe
http://hedgesvilleyw.blogspot.com/
Thank you,
Ana Forsythe
http://hedgesvilleyw.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
BOOK NOOK THIS THURSDAY
Please join us for the Hedgesville Ward Relief Society Book Nook. All sisters are welcome and feel free to bring a friend. Every month we read and discuss books from all different genres. We want to introduce you to something you wouldn't normally read, but something that is powerful and uplifting. Our book choices are always something that is readily available from your local library or online. We alternate between Tuesday and Thursday evenings every month so watch our blog for the schedule. We hope to see you there soon. Happy reading!
March 18th
North and South
by Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell- 1855
"DOMESTIC ENGINEERING" CLASS
A special thank you to a couple people that made this class possible,
Linda Juergensen, Rebekah Gruel, Brenda Wrye, and Joe Koerner.
Homemade Liquid Laundry Soap Recipe
This simple laundry soap recipe will leave your clothes clean and fresh and only comes to about 3 cents per load!
Ingredients:
1/3 bar Fels Naptha Soap ( Ivory and Zote will also work)
½ cup washing soda (found in the laundry section at most stores)
½ cup borax powder (the 20 Mule Team brand is a good choice)
2 gallons water
Grate the soap and put it in a sauce pan. Add 6 cups water and heat it until the soap melts. Add the washing soda (NOT baking soda) and the borax. Stir until it is dissolved. Remove from heat. Pour 4 cups hot water into a 2-gallon bucket. Add soap mixture and stir. Add 1 gallon plus 6 cups of water and stir. Let the soap sit for about 24 hours until it gels. Use a ½ cup detergent per load of laundry.
http://homemadelaundrysoap.net/homemade_liquid_laundry_detergent_recipe.php
Monday, March 15, 2010
FAMILY HOME EVENING- TEMPLES
For more information on this topic read “Celestial Marriage,” by Russell M. Nelson, Ensign, Nov 2008, 92–95.
http://www.byub.org/talks/Talk.aspx?id=3082
Thought:
Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally. (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.)
Song:
“I Love to See the Temple” Children’s Songbook, p. 95.
Scripture:
And I, Nephi, did build a temple; and I did construct it after the manner of the temple of Solomon . . . and the workmanship thereof was exceedingly fine. (2 Nephi 5:16)
Lesson:
Materials needed: Two envelopes and two sets of pictures of individual family members. If pictures are unavailable, simply write the names on separate papers.
Procedure: Place a set of family pictures in each envelope. Leave one envelope open, seal the other.
Hold up both envelopes, and explain that the open one represents a family who has not been sealed for all eternity in the temple. The closed envelope represents a family that has been sealed. Shake the envelopes. Soon the pictures from the open envelope will start to fall, scattering onto the ground. However, the family that is sealed stays in the envelope. Explain that being sealed for eternity means that they can remain together even after they die.
If your family isn’t currently sealed, set a goal to work toward this blessing.
(Adapted from Beth Lefgren and Jennifer Jackson, Power Tools for Teaching, [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1881], p. 77.)
Story:
Llewelyn R. McKay
After the dedication of the temple site at Bern, Switzerland, the spectators gathered around father [David O. McKay] to shake his hand and to ask for his autograph.
One sweet, old lady came up to him and placed a small purse in his hand. Father beckoned to me to act as interpreter. With tears in her eyes, she said: “President McKay, ever since I learned that a temple was to be built in my land, I have saved a ten-centime piece each week. I am quite ill and very old, so I shall never be able to do work in the temple when it is built, but I wish to do my part in helping the great cause.”
The actual amount in the purse, figured in dollars and cents, was not much, but each week’s savings meant less food for that dear, old soul. She was giving all she could with a deeper sincerity than is perhaps felt by many others who offer more—and even when she knew that no return in the use of the temple would ever come to her, she was happy in the thought that she was helping her fellow men.
This is why, I am sure, that father put his arm around her, and with tears in his eyes, thanked her in behalf of all her fellow Church members throughout the world, and added: “You are true gold; I am sure God is pleased with your sincere heart and worthy soul; and in behalf of the Church I accept this gift in the spirit in which it is given!”
The old sister hobbled away, lame and decrepit in body, but with a smile which reflected the happy sparkle in her eyes and of her beautiful soul!
(Jay A. Parry, Jack M. Lyon, Linda Ririe Gundry, Best-Loved Stories of the LDS People, Vol. 2, [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1999], p. 98.)
Activity:
Have the entire family stand on one end of the room. Place a box, a stool, or a chair at the other end of the room. The father walks up to and around the “goal.” He returns to the starting line, takes the mother’s hand, and walks her around the goal. They return to the starting line and one of the children joins them, linking hands with the mother. The trip to the goal and back continues until the whole family is walking.
As the line increases, the first players have to take only a few steps in each direction and swing their line around in order to pick up the rest of the family.
Variations: Walk cross-legged; skip; hop; walk backwards, etc.
(Alma Heaton, The LDS Game Book, [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1968], p. 200.)
Refreshment
Susie’s Turtle Cake
1 box German chocolate cake mix, mixed according to directions on box but not yet baked
48 Kraft® caramels (1 14-ounce bag)
1/2 cup evaporated milk
2 cups pecans, chopped
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) butter (not margarine!)
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
Whipped cream, for topping
Grease and flour a 9×13-inch pan. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Pour half of the cake batter into the prepared pan. Bake 15 minutes. While the cake is baking, melt the caramels, milk, and butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Pour the mixture over the partially baked cake. Sprinkle half of the pecans and half of the chocolate chips over the caramel mixture. Pour the rest of the batter over that. Sprinkle the rest of the nuts and chocolate chips on top. Bake 20 more minutes. It won’t look quite done when it’s finished, but it will firm up when it sets. (It tastes better the second day!) Serve topped with whipped cream.
Serves 12 to 16.
(Clark L. and Kathryn H. Kidd, 52 Weeks of Recipes for Students, Missionaries, and Nervous Cooks, [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 2007], p. 93.)
Information provided by http://ldslivingmagazine.com/articles/show/1890
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
DOMESTIC ENGINEERING CLASS
WHEN: Tuesday, March 16 from 10:30 to 11:30am (You'll be home for lunch!:)
WHERE: At the Church, Relief Society Room.
WHAT: Sister Juergensen is going to teach a quick "Back to the Basics" class on caring for your clothing, including: mending, washing, buttons and other essentials. We will also have a recipe with instructions for making your own laundry soap, free samples included!
WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR KIDS? Bring them, of course! Rebekah Gruel will be teaching a children’s class with activities and snacks for any little ones that want to participate, or they are welcome to stay with Mommy the entire time. We are kid friendly :)
Hope you'll come and invite your friends.
Sincerely, The Hedgesville Relief Society
Monday, March 8, 2010
OUR BOY SCOUT TROOP IN THE CHURCH NEWS
Shining moments: Clearing paths
After heavy snowfall hit the Martinsburg, W. Va., area during the month of January, Del Johnson received a phone call from an older man in his ward. His wife had a doctor's appointment that she needed to go to, but because of the deep snow, she couldn't get out of her apartment to the shuttle tha…
Full Story: http://www.ldschurchnews.com/articles/58906/Shining-moments-Clearing-paths.html
After heavy snowfall hit the Martinsburg, W. Va., area during the month of January, Del Johnson received a phone call from an older man in his ward. His wife had a doctor's appointment that she needed to go to, but because of the deep snow, she couldn't get out of her apartment to the shuttle tha…
Full Story: http://www.ldschurchnews.com/articles/58906/Shining-moments-Clearing-paths.html
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
RELIEF SOCIETY PRESIDENCY MESSAGE- MARCH
RELIEF SOCIETY PRESIDENCY MESSAGE—Sister Brenda Wrye (March 2010)
How often have we read the following statements, “one size fits all”, “ how to (insert verb) in 7 ease steps” or “take the easy way out”. We all know that that there is no “easy way out” no “one size fits all”. As mush as we wish there are no “easy step” to accomplish any goal.
The adversary wants us to fail. He and his minions are working overtime to destroy us. His plan is to prevent our progress, to prevent us from obtaining the blessing that are in store for our family.
Satan best plan is to destroy the family. If he destroys the relationship between a husband and wife, the children have a greater chance of failure.
Marriage is hard work. It is the hardest work we will ever do. It is much easier to be “Just a woman” or “Just a man”. Not to be responsible for any one but our self, but that is not where we find the fullness of the blessings of our Heavenly Father.
The following is an article by Brother Huge W. Pinnock , it appeared in The Liahona. It is a little long but well worth the read.
“Making a Marriage Work”
My comments are directed to those of you who will dedicate an important part of your earthly life to making your marriage succeed.
Several years ago while visiting in Florida I talked with Frank Shorter, a world-class marathon athlete. He won his event in the 1972 Olympics, placed second in 1976, and has won many other long-distance races. As we talked about his training schedule, I learned that he has dedicated a great part of his life to success in athletics. He knows exactly what foods to eat, how many kilometers to run each day for his needs (which, incidentally, is about 32 kilometers, the attitude he needs to have if he expects to be victorious) and a number of other characteristics relating to perfection in his chosen field.
While thinking of Frank Shorter and others who have succeeded in their chosen line of work, hobby, or profession, I asked myself, “Why couldn’t more of our husbands and wives have the same type of dedication to a successful marriage?”
I know of nothing worthwhile in life that comes easy—and nothing in life is as valuable as a strong marriage and a secure family. I am speaking to all who want their marriage to succeed, including those who have been married more than once. My comments are not for anyone looking for simple solutions, or anyone who is satisfied merely to tolerate an uncomfortable arrangement.
Most strong marriages have been severely tested. Husbands and wives who encounter and surmount suffering, pain, misunderstanding, and temptation can enjoy a marriage that is beautiful and eternal. But I do not want us to look to the past—let us look only to today and the future.
Unfortunately, many of the books on how to improve marriages are not helpful to Latter-day Saints. Our marriages and families are built upon heavenly concepts and principles and not upon worldly ideas or solutions. Let me share some ideas that have helped numerous marriages improve, no matter how long the couple have been married. So many individuals whom I have interviewed have shared with me their joy in the truth many of you know: marriage does get better year after year. True love often is discovered only after time, pain, joy, heartache, and yes, after enduring many challenges.
The first idea I suggest is fundamental. We must bring the Savior and his teachings into our homes and hearts. To really succeed, an eternal marriage must be centered in Christ. Though directed to priesthood bearers, the principles in Doctrine and Covenants 121 apply to both husbands and wives:
“No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood—and here are the characteristics by which power and influence can be maintained—only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;
“By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile.
“Let thy bowels also be full of charity … to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distill upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.” (D&C 121:41–42, 45.)
Just as a building must have a strong foundation if it is to endure, a family needs the sure foundation of the Savior and his teachings. We are a spiritual people, believing that we are to use the Spirit in solving problems. Obviously to pray together often—at least daily and hopefully at least twice daily—will lead you to this success.
Second, do not feel that disagreements in your marriage indicate that it cannot succeed. If we are to really communicate, we must be sensitively honest when we disagree. We must tactfully express hurts and let our feelings show. We can do this without becoming angry or inconsiderate. People who keep things inside themselves and never talk about them are candidates for a variety of illnesses. And equally serious, that approach does not solve problems.
Always be open and straightforward with each other. Too often we may respond to marital tension by “being silent” or “taking a walk.” A young wife once asked me to talk with her husband and ask him to communicate with her. “All he does is become silent when we disagree,” she said. “He just walks out the door. When he is calm again, he comes home; but he is like ice until I make up with him. He can go for days or even a week or two without saying a word.”
Disagreements between marriage partners merely means that they are human and that they are not yet perfect individuals. If they acknowledge their differences in a mature way, they can solve their differences without jeopardizing their relationship. They will recognize that their marriage is okay, that they simply have, in this situation, failed to communicate.
While serving as bishop a number of years ago, I became alarmed by the number of young people who came to me, frightened and confused, thinking their parents were not in love and were even heading for divorce because of family disagreements. Because I knew the parents well and knew they were deeply in love, I explained to their children that while this was unpleasant, it was sometimes a part of marriage and did not mean the family was about to disintegrate.
Third, never laugh at your mate either in private or in public. Partners who laugh at their mates may think of it as good-natured humor. It is not. It is degrading and dangerous to the relationship. The one so ridiculed will be hurt deeply. To make a joke about private things a husband or wife did at home reveals either a lack of sensitivity or hidden malice and anger created by frustration or hurt feelings. Couples who respect each other do not resort to such degradation.
Fourth, do not smother each other with excessive restrictions. A loving wife of many years shared with me one of the secrets of her beautiful marriage. She told me, “It is my duty to maintain an atmosphere in our home in which my husband can reach his full potential. And you know, he is a busy father, bishop, and businessman. In turn, he helps me reach my potential.”
With her encouragement, he was an outstanding bishop. She later served as a counselor in two auxiliary presidencies and then as president of the stake Relief Society. She had her own room where she sewed, painted, and wrote beautiful poetry. He felt comfortable in going fishing, doing some painting himself, and growing in ways that interested him. Neither of these marriage partners was being smothered by a selfish mate. Both respected the other’s need and goals.
The most fulfilling of all marriages seem to be those in which the husband and wife together let the Savior take care of their love. They are interested in each other, and yet permit each other to be free to grow and mature, to take on new challenges and to pursue new interests. Of course, this freedom is not the freedom to flirt with another. Jealousy is a subtle form of bondage and is one of the most smothering of human passions.
Husbands and wives who fear the loss of a partner’s love weaken their relationship by holding on too tightly. A husband who thinks to himself, “I won’t let her out of my sight,” is actually expressing a fear that might push her away. Husbands and wives should allow each other freedom for personal growth and expression. When both marriage partners are able to develop their talents and interests, the marriage is less likely to suffer from boredom and narrowness.
Fifth, compliment each other sincerely and often. A middle-aged wife once told me, “Somebody has to keep my husband humble. He gets to feel more important than he is.” That is a sad attitude. Every husbands needs a wife who will encourage him and make him feel proud. Every wife needs a husband who honors and respects her. Encouraging each other with sincere compliments is never a sign of weakness; it is the right thing to do. Anyone who can kneel before a sacred altar with a partner and exchange vows for eternity surely can see enough good in that partner to emphasize the good things about him or her when talking with others.
So often in counseling situations, a divorced woman or man will say, “John has been gone now for three years. How I wish he would come back. The loneliness is unbearable. I neglected to tell him so many things.” Or, “If only I had let her know how good she was in so many ways. What a fool I was. I could never learn to compliment her. I was always pointing out her mistakes. I see some husbands and wives treat each other so coldly and with such indifference that I want to scream at them to wake up before it is too late. I want to tell them to stop their sarcasm and, instead, to encourage each other.”
Wives and husbands tend to become the persons described in the compliments their spouses give them. They will do almost anything to act according to the compliments and encouragement of a proud wife or husband.
Many years ago a friend of ours who had not married at the age when most people marry selected a young woman to be his wife. His choice surprised a number of us because we were unable to feel she was as insightful, socially adaptable, or as wise as he was—to the extent that it almost appeared to be a mismatch. Then we observed that during social engagements, in Church situations, and at other places, he would kindly talk with her about everything that was going on. He brought books home from school and read with her. In many other ways he helped her develop into a more mature and lovely person, and, of course, at the same time he also grew. That man and wife now serve in a distant place on a mission, living a full life because of his desire to be helpful and sensitive and because of the deep love they have for each other.
Sixth, never resort to not speaking to each other. I have learned that we are wrong to say to our mate, “Just stay away from me. I am going through a difficult time. Let me solve my own problem. I just don’t want to be around anybody right now.” Not only is that unfair and a genuine insult, but it is stupid. What is marriage, if it is not sharing and helping each other through crises? We have heard all of the excuses: “I am going through a change …” “I am not feeling well.” “Things are difficult at the office.” “The children have driven me crazy all day long.” But none of these excuses gives the moral right to shut out someone who loves you.
Keep the door to your heart open. The times when we shut others out often are the times when we need their help the most. Of course we all need times of privacy, time to think things out, to meditate and pray. We should understand and respect this need in others. However, we should never be inconsiderate or unappreciative of a concerned husband or wife who is trying to help. This is especially true when there are problems.
Seventh, say, “I’m sorry,” and really mean it. So often when we make mistakes, even innocent mistakes, damage has been done and we need to apologize. Along with learning to say, “I’m sorry,” husbands and wives must learn to say, “I forgive.” Jesus taught that to be forgiven by our Heavenly Father depends, in part, on our ability to forgive those who trespass against us. (See Mark 11:25, 26.) Some of the strongest marriages of which I am aware have been between partners who could say, “I am sorry,” and who forgive each other.
A couple I know about married later in life; the wife had been married before, but it was the husband’s first marriage. After several months of marital bliss, a serious disagreement erupted that so hurt the husband emotionally that he could not function at his daily tasks.
As he reeled from the impact of this confrontation, he stopped to analyze the problem and realized that at least a part of the problem had been his. He went to his bride and stammered awkwardly several times, “I’m sorry, Honey.” The wife burst into tears, confessing that much of the problem was hers and asked forgiveness. As they held each other, she confessed that in her experience those words of apology had not been used before, and she now knew that any of their future problems could be solved. She felt secure because she knew they both could say, “I’m sorry;” “I forgive.”
In addition to saying they are sorry and really meaning it, husbands and wives must avoid talking about past disagreements and mistakes. Thousands of marriages have survived the most critical problems and have been successful only because godly sorrow (See 1 Cor. 7:10) for sin was followed by Christ like forgiveness.
Eight, never turn to a third party in time of trouble, except appropriate family members, your bishop, or stake president. In sensitive and inspired ways, such persons will direct you to a competent counselor if one is needed. Someone is always ready and eager to console a hurting wife or husband. And when marriage partners have no one to talk with at home, unfortunately too many seek a friend elsewhere.
And that is where much adultery begins. It can happen in the neighborhood, in ward choir, at the office, or anywhere else. Secret affairs begin innocently enough—just by talking about mutual hurts. But then comes a dependency period that too often ends in transferring loyalty and affection, followed by adultery.
Never confide your marriage troubles to a third party, except as I have noted, to appropriate family members, bishop, or stake president; no, not even the closest friend of your own sex. He or she may be the first to tell your troubles to another. Lean on the Savior, and rely upon your bishop or stake president. This system, which the Lord has given us, is simple; but it is effective.
Ninth, retain the joy in your marriage. God intends us to find joy in life. (See 1 Ne. 8:10; 2 Ne. 2:25.) Most marriages begin with joy, and those that succeed retain it. When a marriage loses its happiness, it becomes weak and vulnerable. Find a happy home, and you will find a joyful couple at the helm. Husbands and wives who no longer laugh and play together are losing their love for each other and their capacity to stay together. True love includes a joyful, almost childlike quality. In other words, have fun.
Tenth, pray often. Adam and Eve, during a period of insecurity, compounded their brief rebellion by hiding from God’s presence. God does not hide; only man does. God was vitally involved with that first marriage, and he is just as concerned and should be just as involved in every marriage today. Ideally, husband and wife and children will kneel together in prayer. But when that is impossible, you husbands and wives be sure to pray for a strong marriage and for the happiness you deserve.
I suspect that our weaknesses and the difficulties we meet in life affect a marriage enough to make a really strong marriage impossible without God helping us. The Savior can help real marriages and help keep them healthy.
The future depends on the present, and so we must live well today. Life passes quickly. Let us not be guilty of hoping that some day we will become happy and contented, after all of the bills are paid, after the kids are grown, or when we retire. Now is the time to enjoy the good in life—and the good always outweighs the bad. May we learn to recognize the good now and bring joy into each other’s lives.
Let’s Talk about It
After reading “Making a Marriage Work,” you may wish to discuss the following questions in a husband/wife meeting:
1. Since mental attitude is important to the success of any venture, what mental attitudes are needed to maintain a happy marriage?
2. What attitudes will grieve the Spirit and cause it to be withdrawn (See D&C 121:37) from your home?
3. Since problems seem to take on exaggerated significance when borne in silence, what skills will best help to communicate the problem?
4. If you find it hard to admit you’re wrong about something, what can you do to overcome this reluctance?
5. Besides verbal expression, what are some other ways of expressing love and appreciation in your marriage?
6. Of the ten ideas presented for development of a happy marriage, which ones do you feel would be most valuable to your marriage?
How often have we read the following statements, “one size fits all”, “ how to (insert verb) in 7 ease steps” or “take the easy way out”. We all know that that there is no “easy way out” no “one size fits all”. As mush as we wish there are no “easy step” to accomplish any goal.
The adversary wants us to fail. He and his minions are working overtime to destroy us. His plan is to prevent our progress, to prevent us from obtaining the blessing that are in store for our family.
Satan best plan is to destroy the family. If he destroys the relationship between a husband and wife, the children have a greater chance of failure.
Marriage is hard work. It is the hardest work we will ever do. It is much easier to be “Just a woman” or “Just a man”. Not to be responsible for any one but our self, but that is not where we find the fullness of the blessings of our Heavenly Father.
The following is an article by Brother Huge W. Pinnock , it appeared in The Liahona. It is a little long but well worth the read.
“Making a Marriage Work”
My comments are directed to those of you who will dedicate an important part of your earthly life to making your marriage succeed.
Several years ago while visiting in Florida I talked with Frank Shorter, a world-class marathon athlete. He won his event in the 1972 Olympics, placed second in 1976, and has won many other long-distance races. As we talked about his training schedule, I learned that he has dedicated a great part of his life to success in athletics. He knows exactly what foods to eat, how many kilometers to run each day for his needs (which, incidentally, is about 32 kilometers, the attitude he needs to have if he expects to be victorious) and a number of other characteristics relating to perfection in his chosen field.
While thinking of Frank Shorter and others who have succeeded in their chosen line of work, hobby, or profession, I asked myself, “Why couldn’t more of our husbands and wives have the same type of dedication to a successful marriage?”
I know of nothing worthwhile in life that comes easy—and nothing in life is as valuable as a strong marriage and a secure family. I am speaking to all who want their marriage to succeed, including those who have been married more than once. My comments are not for anyone looking for simple solutions, or anyone who is satisfied merely to tolerate an uncomfortable arrangement.
Most strong marriages have been severely tested. Husbands and wives who encounter and surmount suffering, pain, misunderstanding, and temptation can enjoy a marriage that is beautiful and eternal. But I do not want us to look to the past—let us look only to today and the future.
Unfortunately, many of the books on how to improve marriages are not helpful to Latter-day Saints. Our marriages and families are built upon heavenly concepts and principles and not upon worldly ideas or solutions. Let me share some ideas that have helped numerous marriages improve, no matter how long the couple have been married. So many individuals whom I have interviewed have shared with me their joy in the truth many of you know: marriage does get better year after year. True love often is discovered only after time, pain, joy, heartache, and yes, after enduring many challenges.
The first idea I suggest is fundamental. We must bring the Savior and his teachings into our homes and hearts. To really succeed, an eternal marriage must be centered in Christ. Though directed to priesthood bearers, the principles in Doctrine and Covenants 121 apply to both husbands and wives:
“No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood—and here are the characteristics by which power and influence can be maintained—only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;
“By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile.
“Let thy bowels also be full of charity … to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distill upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.” (D&C 121:41–42, 45.)
Just as a building must have a strong foundation if it is to endure, a family needs the sure foundation of the Savior and his teachings. We are a spiritual people, believing that we are to use the Spirit in solving problems. Obviously to pray together often—at least daily and hopefully at least twice daily—will lead you to this success.
Second, do not feel that disagreements in your marriage indicate that it cannot succeed. If we are to really communicate, we must be sensitively honest when we disagree. We must tactfully express hurts and let our feelings show. We can do this without becoming angry or inconsiderate. People who keep things inside themselves and never talk about them are candidates for a variety of illnesses. And equally serious, that approach does not solve problems.
Always be open and straightforward with each other. Too often we may respond to marital tension by “being silent” or “taking a walk.” A young wife once asked me to talk with her husband and ask him to communicate with her. “All he does is become silent when we disagree,” she said. “He just walks out the door. When he is calm again, he comes home; but he is like ice until I make up with him. He can go for days or even a week or two without saying a word.”
Disagreements between marriage partners merely means that they are human and that they are not yet perfect individuals. If they acknowledge their differences in a mature way, they can solve their differences without jeopardizing their relationship. They will recognize that their marriage is okay, that they simply have, in this situation, failed to communicate.
While serving as bishop a number of years ago, I became alarmed by the number of young people who came to me, frightened and confused, thinking their parents were not in love and were even heading for divorce because of family disagreements. Because I knew the parents well and knew they were deeply in love, I explained to their children that while this was unpleasant, it was sometimes a part of marriage and did not mean the family was about to disintegrate.
Third, never laugh at your mate either in private or in public. Partners who laugh at their mates may think of it as good-natured humor. It is not. It is degrading and dangerous to the relationship. The one so ridiculed will be hurt deeply. To make a joke about private things a husband or wife did at home reveals either a lack of sensitivity or hidden malice and anger created by frustration or hurt feelings. Couples who respect each other do not resort to such degradation.
Fourth, do not smother each other with excessive restrictions. A loving wife of many years shared with me one of the secrets of her beautiful marriage. She told me, “It is my duty to maintain an atmosphere in our home in which my husband can reach his full potential. And you know, he is a busy father, bishop, and businessman. In turn, he helps me reach my potential.”
With her encouragement, he was an outstanding bishop. She later served as a counselor in two auxiliary presidencies and then as president of the stake Relief Society. She had her own room where she sewed, painted, and wrote beautiful poetry. He felt comfortable in going fishing, doing some painting himself, and growing in ways that interested him. Neither of these marriage partners was being smothered by a selfish mate. Both respected the other’s need and goals.
The most fulfilling of all marriages seem to be those in which the husband and wife together let the Savior take care of their love. They are interested in each other, and yet permit each other to be free to grow and mature, to take on new challenges and to pursue new interests. Of course, this freedom is not the freedom to flirt with another. Jealousy is a subtle form of bondage and is one of the most smothering of human passions.
Husbands and wives who fear the loss of a partner’s love weaken their relationship by holding on too tightly. A husband who thinks to himself, “I won’t let her out of my sight,” is actually expressing a fear that might push her away. Husbands and wives should allow each other freedom for personal growth and expression. When both marriage partners are able to develop their talents and interests, the marriage is less likely to suffer from boredom and narrowness.
Fifth, compliment each other sincerely and often. A middle-aged wife once told me, “Somebody has to keep my husband humble. He gets to feel more important than he is.” That is a sad attitude. Every husbands needs a wife who will encourage him and make him feel proud. Every wife needs a husband who honors and respects her. Encouraging each other with sincere compliments is never a sign of weakness; it is the right thing to do. Anyone who can kneel before a sacred altar with a partner and exchange vows for eternity surely can see enough good in that partner to emphasize the good things about him or her when talking with others.
So often in counseling situations, a divorced woman or man will say, “John has been gone now for three years. How I wish he would come back. The loneliness is unbearable. I neglected to tell him so many things.” Or, “If only I had let her know how good she was in so many ways. What a fool I was. I could never learn to compliment her. I was always pointing out her mistakes. I see some husbands and wives treat each other so coldly and with such indifference that I want to scream at them to wake up before it is too late. I want to tell them to stop their sarcasm and, instead, to encourage each other.”
Wives and husbands tend to become the persons described in the compliments their spouses give them. They will do almost anything to act according to the compliments and encouragement of a proud wife or husband.
Many years ago a friend of ours who had not married at the age when most people marry selected a young woman to be his wife. His choice surprised a number of us because we were unable to feel she was as insightful, socially adaptable, or as wise as he was—to the extent that it almost appeared to be a mismatch. Then we observed that during social engagements, in Church situations, and at other places, he would kindly talk with her about everything that was going on. He brought books home from school and read with her. In many other ways he helped her develop into a more mature and lovely person, and, of course, at the same time he also grew. That man and wife now serve in a distant place on a mission, living a full life because of his desire to be helpful and sensitive and because of the deep love they have for each other.
Sixth, never resort to not speaking to each other. I have learned that we are wrong to say to our mate, “Just stay away from me. I am going through a difficult time. Let me solve my own problem. I just don’t want to be around anybody right now.” Not only is that unfair and a genuine insult, but it is stupid. What is marriage, if it is not sharing and helping each other through crises? We have heard all of the excuses: “I am going through a change …” “I am not feeling well.” “Things are difficult at the office.” “The children have driven me crazy all day long.” But none of these excuses gives the moral right to shut out someone who loves you.
Keep the door to your heart open. The times when we shut others out often are the times when we need their help the most. Of course we all need times of privacy, time to think things out, to meditate and pray. We should understand and respect this need in others. However, we should never be inconsiderate or unappreciative of a concerned husband or wife who is trying to help. This is especially true when there are problems.
Seventh, say, “I’m sorry,” and really mean it. So often when we make mistakes, even innocent mistakes, damage has been done and we need to apologize. Along with learning to say, “I’m sorry,” husbands and wives must learn to say, “I forgive.” Jesus taught that to be forgiven by our Heavenly Father depends, in part, on our ability to forgive those who trespass against us. (See Mark 11:25, 26.) Some of the strongest marriages of which I am aware have been between partners who could say, “I am sorry,” and who forgive each other.
A couple I know about married later in life; the wife had been married before, but it was the husband’s first marriage. After several months of marital bliss, a serious disagreement erupted that so hurt the husband emotionally that he could not function at his daily tasks.
As he reeled from the impact of this confrontation, he stopped to analyze the problem and realized that at least a part of the problem had been his. He went to his bride and stammered awkwardly several times, “I’m sorry, Honey.” The wife burst into tears, confessing that much of the problem was hers and asked forgiveness. As they held each other, she confessed that in her experience those words of apology had not been used before, and she now knew that any of their future problems could be solved. She felt secure because she knew they both could say, “I’m sorry;” “I forgive.”
In addition to saying they are sorry and really meaning it, husbands and wives must avoid talking about past disagreements and mistakes. Thousands of marriages have survived the most critical problems and have been successful only because godly sorrow (See 1 Cor. 7:10) for sin was followed by Christ like forgiveness.
Eight, never turn to a third party in time of trouble, except appropriate family members, your bishop, or stake president. In sensitive and inspired ways, such persons will direct you to a competent counselor if one is needed. Someone is always ready and eager to console a hurting wife or husband. And when marriage partners have no one to talk with at home, unfortunately too many seek a friend elsewhere.
And that is where much adultery begins. It can happen in the neighborhood, in ward choir, at the office, or anywhere else. Secret affairs begin innocently enough—just by talking about mutual hurts. But then comes a dependency period that too often ends in transferring loyalty and affection, followed by adultery.
Never confide your marriage troubles to a third party, except as I have noted, to appropriate family members, bishop, or stake president; no, not even the closest friend of your own sex. He or she may be the first to tell your troubles to another. Lean on the Savior, and rely upon your bishop or stake president. This system, which the Lord has given us, is simple; but it is effective.
Ninth, retain the joy in your marriage. God intends us to find joy in life. (See 1 Ne. 8:10; 2 Ne. 2:25.) Most marriages begin with joy, and those that succeed retain it. When a marriage loses its happiness, it becomes weak and vulnerable. Find a happy home, and you will find a joyful couple at the helm. Husbands and wives who no longer laugh and play together are losing their love for each other and their capacity to stay together. True love includes a joyful, almost childlike quality. In other words, have fun.
Tenth, pray often. Adam and Eve, during a period of insecurity, compounded their brief rebellion by hiding from God’s presence. God does not hide; only man does. God was vitally involved with that first marriage, and he is just as concerned and should be just as involved in every marriage today. Ideally, husband and wife and children will kneel together in prayer. But when that is impossible, you husbands and wives be sure to pray for a strong marriage and for the happiness you deserve.
I suspect that our weaknesses and the difficulties we meet in life affect a marriage enough to make a really strong marriage impossible without God helping us. The Savior can help real marriages and help keep them healthy.
The future depends on the present, and so we must live well today. Life passes quickly. Let us not be guilty of hoping that some day we will become happy and contented, after all of the bills are paid, after the kids are grown, or when we retire. Now is the time to enjoy the good in life—and the good always outweighs the bad. May we learn to recognize the good now and bring joy into each other’s lives.
Let’s Talk about It
After reading “Making a Marriage Work,” you may wish to discuss the following questions in a husband/wife meeting:
1. Since mental attitude is important to the success of any venture, what mental attitudes are needed to maintain a happy marriage?
2. What attitudes will grieve the Spirit and cause it to be withdrawn (See D&C 121:37) from your home?
3. Since problems seem to take on exaggerated significance when borne in silence, what skills will best help to communicate the problem?
4. If you find it hard to admit you’re wrong about something, what can you do to overcome this reluctance?
5. Besides verbal expression, what are some other ways of expressing love and appreciation in your marriage?
6. Of the ten ideas presented for development of a happy marriage, which ones do you feel would be most valuable to your marriage?
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